Sunday, August 30, 2009

Asians drink some strange things Part 1

There's this Chinese supermarket near where I live that I go to occasionally to get Dim Sum buns (becasue it seems to be the only place in the valley that sells them.) One thing that always blows me away about these places is the wide assortment of weird shit that Asians drink. Those of you out in internet land who know who I am in real life will know that I'm part Filipino, which is sort-of-kind-of Asian, so I like to explore places like this once in a while.

First up we have "Hello Boss" canned cappuccino. You don't really see coffee in a can much from American companies (except maybe Starbucks,) but apparently it's pretty big in Asia. Not sure exactly why it's called this, maybe becasue when you drink it, it wakes you up for work? Who knows exactly.

Not surprisingly it doesn't taste like coffee much at all, more like a swilling sugary watery can of shit. Which is not to say it's not bad. I also picked up some Hello Boss Milk Tea, which besides coming in a can that's more yellow also tastes almost exactly like the Cappuccino. It's good to have variety I suppose.

Last for this installment of weird Asian drinks is "Zest-o JIC," which stands for "Juice in Can." This particular drink happens to be Guayabano juice. Yes, it's misspelled, but that's how it is on the can.

In case you're wondering what the fuck a Guyabano is, it's one of those bizarre green prickly things that no one would ever try to eat unless they were starving (or you're my grandmother.) I mean seriously, say you're part of some stone age tribe in the Philippines several thousand years ago, and you were running around in the jungle all hungry and came across a tree with these things on them. I suppose hungry people will eat anything, but like, isn't spikes one of nature's ways of saying "Leave me the fuck alone?"


Anyway the Zest-o crap wasn't actually half bad, had sort of a guava-mango kinda taste to it, and is much better than eating a Guyabano in real life (which taste sort of like unripe kiwi with baby powder in it.) I mean if I gotta eat a Guyabano, I don't know... say there's a gun to my head or something, then I suppose I could tolerate it in canned juice form.

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