Loch Ness Monster spotted on Google Earth

A couple of Lake Monster stories here for ya:


Loch Ness Monster spotted on Google Earth

From Telegraph.co.uk:

The image, which can be seen on the satellite mapping program, depicts a large object resembling a sea creature clearly visible beneath the surface of the water.

Jason Cooke told The Sun he spotted "Nessie" while browsing the website's satellite photos. Mr Cooke, 25, of Nottingham, said: "I couldn't believe it. It's just like the descriptions of Nessie."

Researcher Adrian Shine, of the Loch Ness Project, told the newspaper: "This is really intriguing. It needs further study." The image can be seen by entering coordinates Latitude 57°12'52.13"N, Longitude 4°34'14.16"W in Google Earth.

In related news:

100 foot snake sighted in Borneo

A member of a disaster team monitoring flood regions on the South East Asian island is said to have captured the image while hovering over the Baleh river in a helicopter.

The shot, which shows a green, wavy object floating along the meandering river, has sparked rumours that a mythical snake called Nabau has returned to the area.

Sceptics have joined the debate claiming that it is nothing more than the work of photo-editing software.

Rather like the myths surrounding Scotland's Loch Ness Monster, legend has it that a terrifying 100ft snake called Nabau, with a dragon's head and seven nostrils prowled Borneo's rivers.

Villagers who claim to have seen the snake in the flesh have now named it Nabau, after the folklore sea serpent which was thought to be able to transform itself into the shapes of different animals.

Craigslist will always scare me

Click on the image for a larger view

Original Craigslist post here.

Man oh man

Weird Sloth-Mutation attacks children

Here's the latest in wtf creature sightings that seem are becoming more common.

"Gollum-Like" monster attacks children

A slimy, glob-like creature dubbed Gollum has terrified children after it slithered out of a lake and clambered over the rocks towards them.

The young teenagers were playing by the waterfront in a Panama lake near Cerro Azul when the bald beast emerged from a cave behind a waterfall. They started screaming as it shuffled out "as if to attack them".

Locals told Panama news the monster was like "Gollum from Lord of the Rings".

Of course then the children did the only sensible thing when confronted by a freakish hairless mutation - they threw rocks at it until it died. This could have been the last of an endangered species of mutant sloth-things. Good job kids.



This thing is pretty bizarre looking, even for a mutant.

Hawaii bans smelly people from public transport

Picture not related

Apparently it's a crime now to be smelly and ride the bus in Honolulu:

Hawaii - Stinky city bus riders soon could get soaked. The Honolulu City Council is considering a bill that would impose up to a $500 fine and/or up to six months in jail for public transit passengers convicted of being too smelly.

The bill will be heard Thursday in committee. It would make it illegal to have "odors that unreasonably disturb others or interfere with their use of the transit system."

It doesn't matter if it's body odor or offensive fumes that emanates from clothes, personal belongings or animals.


I imagine there would be the Hawaii Smell Patrol would go around sniffing for noxious offenders. That would be a good TV show.

Asians drink some strange things Part 1

There's this Chinese supermarket near where I live that I go to occasionally to get Dim Sum buns (becasue it seems to be the only place in the valley that sells them.) One thing that always blows me away about these places is the wide assortment of weird shit that Asians drink. Those of you out in internet land who know who I am in real life will know that I'm part Filipino, which is sort-of-kind-of Asian, so I like to explore places like this once in a while.

First up we have "Hello Boss" canned cappuccino. You don't really see coffee in a can much from American companies (except maybe Starbucks,) but apparently it's pretty big in Asia. Not sure exactly why it's called this, maybe becasue when you drink it, it wakes you up for work? Who knows exactly.



Not surprisingly it doesn't taste like coffee much at all, more like a swilling sugary watery can of shit. Which is not to say it's not bad. I also picked up some Hello Boss Milk Tea, which besides coming in a can that's more yellow also tastes almost exactly like the Cappuccino. It's good to have variety I suppose.



Last for this installment of weird Asian drinks is "Zest-o JIC," which stands for "Juice in Can." This particular drink happens to be Guayabano juice. Yes, it's misspelled, but that's how it is on the can.



In case you're wondering what the fuck a Guyabano is, it's one of those bizarre green prickly things that no one would ever try to eat unless they were starving (or you're my grandmother.) I mean seriously, say you're part of some stone age tribe in the Philippines several thousand years ago, and you were running around in the jungle all hungry and came across a tree with these things on them. I suppose hungry people will eat anything, but like, isn't spikes one of nature's ways of saying "Leave me the fuck alone?"

Ouch

Anyway the Zest-o crap wasn't actually half bad, had sort of a guava-mango kinda taste to it, and is much better than eating a Guyabano in real life (which taste sort of like unripe kiwi with baby powder in it.) I mean if I gotta eat a Guyabano, I don't know... say there's a gun to my head or something, then I suppose I could tolerate it in canned juice form.

Eternal Earthboung Pets - Ensuring Fluffy gets fed after the Rapture

Followers of my little corner of teh intertubes have probably figured out I'm not much of a religious man. I'm an agnostic at best, a rabid atheist at worst. Fact is I really don't see much reason out there to support the view of a personal, all loving God. I mean if he really paid much attention, then there shouldn't be people born with no arms out there. Yeah you can eat with your feet but that's not the point. However I live in a religious country in a highly religious world, and one thing I've found to be a great source of comedy is the actions of religious people.

I present to you, Eternal-Earth Bound Pets. From the home page:

You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

Oh man, oh man. I hope this is a joke. From the Terms and conditions:

Should a relative residing within the rescue location not be Raptured and opts to retain the pet(s), EE-BP will not take posession of the pet(s). No refund will be tendered.

Not much else to say about this, except I'm thinking of starting my own petcare-rapture business and competing with these guys.

Lennonade - Get Hammered and Sickled

Found this today at my local comic book shop - Lennonade! The bottle is done up in old Soviet style, with various parody slogans throughout - "A taste worth standing in line for," "A party in every bottle," or "Drink, comrade! Drink! It's this or the Gulag!" The drink itself is dark pink and not too sweet, tastes like real lemons.

Availible at http://www.realsoda.com or specialty shops everywhere.